The Five Aspects of Sherlocks Life
by Bitterfruit93
Summary: Sherlock is thinking about his life and how John changed it. Slash, Sherlock/John.


**Hey, again. So this once again a Fanfiction about Sherlock and John (mostly Sherlock, duh) and yeah I would be happy about any comments or reviews ^^**

**Sherlock and John are not my Characters, they are Sir Conan Doyles and from the BBC Series "Sherlock"**

I am not a person with many things, which rule my life. To be precise there are only five.

First: The Challenge

I am seeking a good challenge. Always. Even if it is just to annoy Anderson, because he has yet again an affair with Donavan. Or it´s an enemy, like a murderer or a clever thief, and I am challenging them to bring their best game on, just to destroy them and show them, who is the best. It´s a dangerous game, I know very well, but it´s brilliant and makes me feel alive at least a little bit.

Second: The Curiosity

I am indeed a curious person. I want to know everything about cases, why did the murderer kill the victim? Why did he do such a lousy job at it? What will happen, if I mix certain chemicals? Will they explode or will they form something totally new? I often don´t have enough space for all my experiments and I am really can´t decide, which one to try first.

Third: Cleverness

It´s the aspect I am really proud of. My cleverness. Even tough it was always something, which kept the people away from me like a wall. It´s the aspect, which branded me as a "Freak" or something like that. But I am still happy to be so clever, to deduce things with one glance or trick a criminal to confess his crimes with no problem. As a kid it was strange to be so intelligent. The adults always looked at me, like I am some kind of alien and soon I didn´t bother to talk with other kids or even some adults like my teachersr. They were all dull and not really exciting.

Fourth: Tediousness

Between cases it´s so boring and nothing really excites me, not even the many expirements. Often I just lay on my good old couch and think about how boring it is to just lay there, but then I think of the little stash of drugs under a pile of books near my bed and jump up to get them. It´s always something like Heroin, Ecstasy, Valium or even Magic Mushrooms I hide from the Yard and Mycroft. It´s not like I need to take drugs, I am not addicted to them, they are just away to kill the tediousness until there is a new case.

Fifth: Loneliness

It´s funny, isn´t it? Even tough I don´t even want to socialize with other people I still don´t like to be alone. It´s stupid to seek something, I don´t even know about or expirienced and still I want somebody to be there for me and only me. I want to hug that person tight and never let go, but there is nobody and I am still alone. Sometimes I wish I had tried to play with other kids, when I was young or I would shut my mouth about someones affair or their dirty little secret. But I believe, even if all that never happened, people would still hate me and try to distance themselves from me. Still, my heart craves for contact for goddamn love and it makes me mad to know, that I will never experience that feeling for another person. I am sure, that that other person would be brilliant and incredible in their own way.

I sometimes hated life. It´s not easy to solve the most cruel crimes and stay sane, just to hope to expirience a new challenge or try to find somebody to love. I often tought about killing myself and stopping this idiotic hope for something that will never happen. But I never was able to do it, always there was a new challenge, a new crime, a new serial killer to distract myself with.

And then came John.

My life still has five aspects, but they changed. Doctor John Watson... Something I never thought would happen!

First: Challenge

Yes, there is still the challenge, but it´s another kind of challenge. Like how to get John to smile or moan under me, one of those sweet little cries, that make my mind go numb. The challenge to solve crimes together with John and chase criminals trough the whole city of London. I love to challenge John to say "Brilliant" or "Incredible" to me and always have to smile when I achieve my goal.

Second: Curiousity

I still want to learn more about crimes and so on, but there are also the things I want to learn about John. How he feels about war, the flowers I bought him to say sorry for something idiotic I did or his sister Harry. I want to know what his smooth skin feels like under my fingers or what his lips taste like. I want to know everything about him, about my John Watson.

Third: Cleverness

I use my cleverness, to try and lure John into our bedroom, to show him just how much I remember, about manipulating his body. I always try to deduce John, because he is a mystery to me. He is not like the other dull people, who are easy to understand, he is brilliant and a puzzle even I can´t solve. He often surprises me in his own way, like that one time he kicked some criminals ass, just to ask me afterwards if I was alright altough he was the one with the split lip and cracked ribs.

Fourth: Protection

Johns safety has top priority! I don´t want to ever see him in a hospitel bed or die in my arms. It scares me, that a human life is so important to me and it makes me vulnerable for my enemys. Every day I try very hard to protect John from cruel people. Rage is boiling in my gut, when I think about them trying to hurt John, my John, and even tough I hate to ask for help from other people, I still do it, because John needs to be safe and help me stay sane.

Fifth: Love

John is the love of my life. Yeah, I know, it sounds cheesy, but it´s true. John is my life, my love, my best friend, my most important person and he´s the only one to get me out of my tediousness in under five minutes. When I first met him I was scared of my own new feelings for my new flat mate, that I tried to keep him away and said, that I am married to my work. That was totally idiotic and I still regret it. Only after Sarah tried to steal herself in Johns life, I realised that I was jealous and wanted to keep John for myself. I wanted him to love me and did really strange things to drive every other interested person away from him. One time I even played matchmaker to achieve my goal and Molly ended up with a lovely husband and was now pregnant with their first child. But I still couldn´t tell John about my feelings. I was too scared to get rejected from John, my lovely John, with his sandy blond hair and those marvellious eyes, which had seen so many cruel things in his short life. And then something strange happened. It was just after a case and I was totally wasted. I almost had lost John to some crazy maniac and was truly relieved to know he was safe. Even tough John was as exhausted as I was, he still helped me to bed. I didn´t want him to leave, I wanted him to stay near me, so I could make sure that he was safe. John laughed at me, climbed on my small bed, hugged me tight and than he said the most beautiful words I ever hear:

"Good night, my Love."


End file.
